Skin bubbles

Again.


I don't suppose you have a way of not making this hurt anymore. No. This doesn't hurt anymore, what it feels like is like the last slow burn of the fire, the aftermath of a sting. I'm not in shock anymore, I don't completely lose my appetite. I don't feel the slice of old memories trying to cut through to the surface. Instead, the feel like little bubbles in my skin, trying to pop through - but now I know better than to tear through the skin to get to the memories. Now I leave them untouched.

But you get to me.
You always do.
Why.

December 28, 2013 at 05:25PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/iddA1snzcA/ Double smiles xx

December 28, 2013 at 10:37AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/icuUv-nzeE/ All grown up xx

December 25, 2013 at 05:55PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/iVyA7XHzUn/ Waiting, always waiting.

December 25, 2013 at 04:26PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/iVn2fxnza_/ Waiting, always waiting.

You feel me?

I feel like this is something that should be said:

Don't be a victim of your own thoughts. Every time you put yourself down, you shortchange yourself.

"I'm not smart enough" - Just by thinking that, you've already lost 3/4 of the battle. It sounds cocky but if you don't believe in yourself; who will? Sometimes I get really mad at myself for belittling my own worth. Every time I refuse to take a stand, or to really work for something, I lose out on something that had the potential to be life-changing. The worst part is, we often trade off these life-changing moment for a couple moments of feeling 'safe'. In other words, we'd rather not have amazing, soul-renewing, center-finding moments because we'd rather stay in our comfort zones. The best quote I've heard describe this is this:

" A ship in the habour is safe; but that is not what ships are made for "

Ships were made to cross oceans, to find new land, to bring you to all the amazing cultures and people that this planet can offer. They were made to stay afloat through storms and crashing waves, they were built for amazing feats, exactly like what we were made for. The comfort zone represents our habour, do you really want to be docked in the habour your whole life? To never taste authentic paella, to never see dolphins twirl and jump through waves? To never catch a snowflake in your hands? To never have the satisfaction of conquering a fear or a goal? Do you never want to be proud of yourself? 

It's hard, I know. Some days I feel useless and stagnant. Like I wasted my last dollar on an ice-cube that melted before I had the chance to taste the cool. It feels like I'll die soon, nothing to show for the time that I'm alive. It feels like there's a jarring silence at the back of my head, ringing in my ears telling me to stop. My lips droop, my eyes only open halfway and nothing - nothing can convince me that every thing will work out. I falter on these days. I take it one breathe at a time, one heart beat at a time. Sometimes it passes in a day, and sometimes it takes a few weeks - but it does. It passes. 

When it does, I remind myself all over again, you are the most important person to yourself - and you are. If you wouldn't call a friend fat or ugly or a dumb-skunk-filled-trash-for-brains-asshole, then why the hell would you call yourself that?! Do you know how hard your body works to keep you alive? The beating it takes from when you're insecure about the fats that make sure your internal organs are well-protected? From you hating the color of your skin and hair - of which it had no control over? From you hating acne which is basically caused by your skin trying to compensate for itself? Your body works 24/7 for you and you dare insult it? When you hate yourself - you lack respect for your body. Please, it won't be easy, but you need to realize and appreciate what you have. You are alive - your body has kept you alive. Be thankful, love it. Keep it happy and healthy. 

You hate yourself because you don't respect yourself - and  you don't respect yourself because you don't understand that miracle that you are. A living, breathing miracle. 

Do you ever feel like life is rushing pass by you and you're a step away from getting swept away but it also feels like you're cemented to the ground?

Do you ever feel so a part of yourself but then again apart from everybody else?

Do you ever feel like you have 15 different sections to your soul and no one -no one- bothers to look past the first?

Do you ever just feel a little too much?

xx

December 17, 2013 at 01:08AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/h_YdL-nzR-/ Syafiq xx

December 17, 2013 at 01:07AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/h_YQa-HzRu/ Filzy xx

December 17, 2013 at 01:03AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/h_XzDxnzRD/ We don't need attention. We deserve it.

December 16, 2013 at 08:33PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/h-46fRHzdZ/ Where my instagram people at?!

December 14, 2013 at 02:27AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/h3zHRDHzaB/ Friday the thirteenth with Zaidi.

You never know the demons that a person has. Each so perfectly formed, so perfectly in tuned to your weaknesses. They know how to press you, how to stretch you, how do plummet you down. 

Mine are sneaky, they come in disguise. They tell you it's okay to falter, to fail. If I fail, I should fail spectacularly, because that's what people expect of me. 

Demons in my mind, urgh. 

Ahh, I feel like crap today.

I feel like nothing I'm doing is really paying off and I'm getting really pissed at myself for slacking off. I need to be good enough already and I need to be pretty enough and strong enough and JUST GOOD ALREADY.

The past week was pretty good, I don't know why all of a sudden I feel like total crap. But I guess this is just a part of the lows in life. I wish it didnt feel like crap. I wish I was good enough. I wish I didnt feel like I need to compete with everybody. Caliz, there will be people better than you. I to understand that just because I'm not as good as them, it doesn't mean that I'm worthless.

YOU SEEE. I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO BUT I CANT FIND IT IN ME TO DO IT. WHAT THE HELL CALIZ WHAT THE HELL WILL YOU GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER ALREADY COMEON YOU WERE DOING SO WELL. GO CALIZ GO.

ok.

December 08, 2013 at 12:24PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/hpaqLxnzfd/ #YES.

December 07, 2013 at 04:43PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/hnTbPRHzXq/ Illumi Run 2013.

December 06, 2013 at 10:27AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/hkDlp1HzZ9/ Bear-rista. HAHAHAHA

Sometimes, okay, most of the times, I think about my future and it overwhelms me. I feel like I'm on  minuscule row boat just searching for land and everyone else are on huge mega cruise ships sailing full speed ahead paradise. and I'm here just meh. 

IGETTINGANXIOUSNONONONONONO

December 03, 2013 at 12:25PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/hci0EYHzUF/ Happy Birthday to mummy! Without you, there would be no me. And In sha Allah, if I become even half as strong as you are, I would be over the moon. You're my rock when everything gets crazy and the one I aspire to be like! I don't say it enough but I appreciate everything done, and treasure everything you've advised me...I just don't listen very well! Hahahah! Love you mummy! May your life get easier and happier!!

It pisses me off that you're useless and thoughtless.

Sounds

Do you remember how you feel safe in a song?
As long as it keeps playing, we're all good and nothing can touch us.
It wraps you in a blanket that reaches down and soothes you, like some magical soothing thing and it's just - yes.

And when you find that one song that perfectly says everything you need it to, it feels like you've found shelter from the rain. It's your shield when you've lost your sword. Like chocolate melting on burning scars. Like the sound of your mothers voice. Like the sound of people happy.

Like the sound of temporary faith.

December 02, 2013 at 10:31AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/hZw4KEnzUv/ ho ho ho

I believe that life is hard to explain and your past is sometimes hard to stomach.

I believe that things happen for a reason and while you have no clue what the reason is, you'll learn about it one day.

I believe that sometimes life gets overwhelming or underwhelming and you just have to press on.

I believe that everything will click one day.

December 01, 2013 at 04:30PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/hX1NGInzQY/ Tim doesn't give a

November 29, 2013 at 02:17PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/hScX7JnzVU/ Salted caramel cupcake?

The truth is,

that sometimes when you talk to me, I feel like there are a million galaxies between us. I hear what you're saying but the walls are thick and paper thin and everything and nothing gets through. There are times when I'm with people and I'm already wandering far around my mind. It is all I can do not to run away and just be free.

November 23, 2013 at 08:23PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/hDpeUfHzSE/ Ice Kardashians & Bin Ladins. Goodnight Saturday!

November 23, 2013 at 05:04PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/hDSvq9Hzec/ Made chili chicken today! Might be my favorite dish everrrr

la douleur exquise

November 22, 2013 at 07:56AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/g_vOtcnzf3/ Look how far we've come. xx

November 18, 2013 at 10:55PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/g3C4b7HzYi/ In the end, everything's going to be alright. And if it's not, then it's not the end.

November 18, 2013 at 04:43PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/g2YYJGnzTh/ Haven't been here in what feels like a thousand years. Ahh memories, how I miss thee.

November 16, 2013 at 09:08AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gwauTunzcP/ Don't you always feel so small in this big huge galaxy?

November 16, 2013 at 01:46AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gvoD-JnzQB/ Why do birds, suddenly appear, Everytime, you are near? Just like me, They'd like to be, Close to youuuuu

November 16, 2013 at 01:39AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gvnTe-nze7/ If the world changed, maybe we'd love a little more, smile a little wider, fall a little faster, live a little better?

November 15, 2013 at 12:37AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gs7bHknzSd/ Sergeant Syafiq. Making magic; saving lives. Happy advance birthday! Come back safe and happy!

November 13, 2013 at 06:28PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gpsW4EnzR2/ Finding happiness with @amelia_ain & @fvckxr! Thanks for the treatttt!

November 09, 2013 at 01:05PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ge0NxlnzRI/ I don't know how I'd survive Rp without you girls! Thank you for the mega sweet cakes and gift, which of course, is sweet ...like me! Sayannngg korang!

November 09, 2013 at 12:55PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gezEGnHzQA/ You know sometimes when words don't seem just enough? I feel safe with I'm with you because I know that you accept me for who I am and that...that's more than I could ask for. After all these years, I'm so glad you guys are the ones by my side.

November 09, 2013 at 12:43PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gexvPnHzef/ If I go near or far, is never find another like you. You babies are my cornerstone, my irreplaceables. And we're going in a million direction right now but just remember that I love you guys. Always.

November 09, 2013 at 12:34PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gewvIjHzdE/ Even thought its been years since I've left tp, with you guys, it feels like only yesterday! Thank you guys for the cake! Macam sayang je, macam rindu je!

November 08, 2013 at 09:29PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gdJK77nzSS/ Friday's kinect night.

November 07, 2013 at 01:28AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gYa6IVnzcl/ I don't know about you, but I feel twenty twoo. Everything's gonna be alright, if you keep me next to you.

November 07, 2013 at 01:13AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gYZN_yHzaa/ Sisters in heart, partners in crime. I can't say enough of how much I was surprised and happy and crying and happy when you guys came down to my block at 12 just for me! I LOVE YOU GUYS ENDLESSLY.

peachnaked: daily

peachnaked:

daily

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kissmeok: ♡Sex, Love, Couples♡

kissmeok:

♡Sex, Love, Couples♡

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so-personal: everything personal♡

so-personal:

everything personal♡

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Photo

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Photo

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"I’ve been living in my own head for too long, I’ve forgotten the way out."

“I’ve been living in my own head for too long, I’ve forgotten the way out.”



- 0140am (via 0140am)

via Tumblr http://wanderlustaffinity.tumblr.com/post/65990159912

iwillbeskinny123: nivueniconnue: Lotus handstand looking at my...

iwillbeskinny123:

nivueniconnue:

Lotus handstand looking at my feet :P

HEALTHY WEIGHTLOSS MOTIVATION

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November 04, 2013 at 01:18AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/gQralSnzfB/ No other way to end the night. (Plus the extra early birthday present!)

blackulaflorkin: love this film

blackulaflorkin:

love this film

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heyfunniest: Chinese toddler girls in world’s cutest taekwondo...

heyfunniest:

Chinese toddler girls in world’s cutest taekwondo fight.

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so-personal: my blog may make you smile, laugh and make you...

so-personal:

my blog may make you smile, laugh and make you think about life♡

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"Marry someone who lets you have a bite of their brownie, even when you said you weren’t hungry...."

“Marry someone who lets you have a bite of their brownie, even when you said you weren’t hungry. Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do. Marry someone who kisses your nose on a cold day. Marry someone who you can watch Disney movies with. Marry someone who is proud of you whether you earn £5 a week or £5,000 a week. Marry someone who you can tell everything to. Marry someone who isn’t afraid or embarrassed to hold your hand in public. Marry someone who lets you take over when decorating a cake. Marry someone who you can spend the day in Ikea with without feeling stressed. Marry someone who wraps you up inside their coat in the winter. Marry someone who accepts your fears and phobias. Marry someone who gives you butterflies every time you hear their key in the door. Marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for. Marry someone who accepts you all day every day, even when you don’t look or feel your best. Marry someone who puts three sugars in your tea, despite telling them “just the two”. Marry someone who doesn’t judge you when you eat your body weight in cookies. Marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you know they will reply. Marry someone who waits with you to get on the train. Marry someone who understands that you need to be alone sometimes. Marry someone who gets on well with your parents and isn’t uptight about family events. Marry someone who calms you down when you get mad about stupid stuff, and never tells you it’s “only stupid stuff”. Marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who you love. Marry your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.”



- (via forever-and-alwayss)

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aseaofquotes: Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

aseaofquotes:

Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

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yanilavigne: More?

yanilavigne:

More?

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