again again it's me.

Have i blogged about my birthday? No?

Bought Ben & Jerry to celebrate with the fam at midnight. Woke my mum up so she'd celebrate with all of us, we ended up having B&J & KFC!
Oh shit - no time to blog, have to clean up my room then study!

Health Psychology UT on Weds!
till later
xx

Tips.

Some tips I found to de-flake myself:

• Get to the Real Problem First aka Why is the cognitive thinking behind my being late? Identify the false beliefs that swirl through the procrastinator's emotional undercurrents. If you are forever tardy, you may believe, "I must finish this task before I leave," or, "I shouldn't have to push myself to be on time." 
• Snap out of the PresentThink about how you will feel tomorrow if you skip out on an obligation today. Putting yourself at a distance from your current perspective can tune you in to future regrets and get you moving now.
• Be Responsible for Three MinutesTell yourself you will work on a task for three minutes. When the time is up, you can evaluate if you want to continue or not—but momentum will likely kick in and you will finish up.
• Set up a Penalty SystemMaking life harder for yourself in the long run doesn't mean you'll gladly suffer discomfort, Edelstein says. Try paying a dollar to a cause you oppose for every minute you are late.

Personality Test.

HOBO.

Anyway, did a personality test in school last week & here are the abbreviation results. The actual results were about 8 pages long because of all the explanations! 

The personality test is centered on the Trait theory. Trait study is an approach to studying human personality. Basically, in this, there is the Five-Factor Theory of Personality, also known as the Big 5. 

They are: 

1. Extroversion
2. Agreeableness
3. Conscientiousness
4. Neuroticism
5. Openness

They can be remembered as: CANOE or OCEAN 

Here are my test results:

Your score on Extroversion is high, indicating you are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time.

Your level of Agreeableness is average, indicating some concern with others' Needs, but, generally, unwillingness to sacrifice yourself for others.

Your score on Conscientiousness is low, indicating you like to live for the moment and do what feels good now. Your work tends to be careless and disorganized.

Your score on Neuroticism is high, indicating that you are easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be sensitive and emotional.

Your score on Openness to Experience is high, indicating you enjoy novelty, variety, and change. You are curious, imaginative, and creative.

And then it goes in detail a bit more here: 

Extraversion Facets

Your level of friendliness is average.

Your level of gregariousness is high.

Your level of assertiveness is high.

Your activity level is low.

Your level of excitement-seeking is high.Your level of positive emotions is low.

Agreeableness Facets

Your level of trust is average.

Your level of morality is low

Your level of altruism is high.

Your level of compliance is low

Your level of modesty is average.

Your level of tender-mindedness is high.

Conscientiousness Facets

Your level of self-efficacy is low.

Your level of orderliness is low.

Your level of dutifulness is low.

Your level of achievement striving is low.

Your level of self-discipline is low.

Your level of cautiousness is low.

Neuroticism Facets
Your level of anxiety is high.
Your level of anger is average.

Your level of depression is high.
Your level or self-consciousness is low.

.Your level of vulnerability is high
Your level of immoderation is high.

Openness Facets

Your level of imagination is high.

Your level of artistic interests is high

Your level of emotionality is high

Your level of adventurousness is average

Your level of intellect is average

Your level of liberalism is high.

Obviously, I've got issues with self discipline and I need to work on that before it gets out of hand Hell! It's already getting out of hand with me coming to school late for almost everyday. Another thing that sucks is that "easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living" I don't wanna be that way, but I know that's the truth and I give up and get strung out too fast, too easily. 

You know, this is not the person that I'd be at 21 years old. I thought I'd have it all together by now or at the very least working. But I'm not gonna moan and groan about it, I'm grateful for all the lessons learnt by going down this path. I'm stronger and I will get better. 

I will get better. 

xx

Kiss Kiss

Not inspired to for anything. 

No rants, no deep insights, no loving messages. 

No words? 

No, there will always be words.

Words that fill the air, perfuming my thoughts and stealing my air.

I've been thinking about kisses a lot lately. 

Of all the kisses I've had, I've never had that one kiss. 

The kind that pulls you in, sucks you up,
makes you lost in the other persons arms. 

The kind that takes you deep down and wraps around you,
gently forcing you into bliss. 

The kind where the person you're with becomes your oxygen

and encompasses you and you are them and they are you. 

You never want it to stop. 

And then it does but then you realize that he was never your oxygen. 

He was just merely, your lungs. 

I'll leave you with that tonight because it's cold and I need warmth.
More warmth then you can give me.

xx

There are no words that I can use to tell you my state of mind. 

It's just all over the place I guess. 

-- there you go, four words to tell you. 

Maybe a lot of times it's just me. and a lot of times I'm overthinking, overeating, overdramatic, over - over - over - over. Just a little too over. 

And sometimes it's all of you. I wanna dive into an ocean and shut the world out and just be left alone because I can't stand the silence - the awkward lies, the awkward smiles. The awkward everything. 

Time's flying by, 

Moving so fast,

& you'd better make it count
cause it ain't coming back.