Sunday, September 4, 2016
The words would have told you that you should have looked closer.
It's hard to say that you should have looked closer at all the moments, when you were at your worst, when you were at your best - when you were standing alone. It hard to say because you'll take my words and twist them. Don't fault me for wanting you to have stood by me the way I stood by you. I stood by you, not because I wanted your loyalty, that would have been nice but that isn't the reason I stood by you. I stood by you because I believed in the good that you were. But in the end, was it all just what I wanted to see? I can't live my life by my mistakes. I won't.
There are lessons in our failures that we can keep,
and that will keep the memories of you sweet.
People shouldn't be kept on pedestals;
No one should.
It will get better.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
I don't think it comes as a surprise (to many) that im an emotional person. Everything moves me and I'm constantly trying to find meaning in a hundred different things.. All at once. I may come across as a handful but let me tell you how this handful loves. When I love, I love strongly. I'll defend you, I'll create for you, I'll make sure that in this moment and in every other, I'm there rooting for you. I don't do part time when it comes to all my relationships. Hell yeah I've got issues but I'd rather take my handful of issues and be completely authentic than be part time and float around. Today and every other day, I am for you.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Saturday, October 10, 2015
via Instagram http://ift.tt/1Qg5mQ9 So...when's your turn sunshine girl? May happiness and love engulf your family! May this new future bring you the laughter of many new additions!! In sha Allah! Amin 💕 #SFXX15
Friday, October 9, 2015
Saturday, October 3, 2015
via Instagram http://ift.tt/1PbjagH BIRTHDAY BOK! bok of all boks and my favourite bok Happy Birthday! You are loved and you are missed and you need to get your ass near mine once more! I will see you soon 💕💕
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Monday, September 14, 2015
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Friday, July 17, 2015
via Instagram http://ift.tt/1OjDpGA All along it was a fever. // 🌌 ☀ Salam Aidilfitri to you and yours! From the bottom of my heart, I apologise for any wrong I may have committed. Please know that it was never intentional and if it was, I'm trying my very best to be better than I was yesterday. May all your days be filled with love, laughter and contentment. May we all see another blessed Ramadan 💟💟 #vscocam
via Instagram http://ift.tt/1GpYski All along it was a fever. // Salam Aidilfitri to you and yours! From the bottom of my heart, I apologise for any wrong I may have committed. Please know that it was never intentional and if it was, I'm trying my very best to be better than I was yesterday. May all your days be filled with love, laughter and contentment. May we all see another blessed Ramadan 💟💟
Friday, June 12, 2015
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Ya Allah, I'm ready to be more patient, more understanding, more loving, more righteous, more humble person. Guide me onto a better path, guide me to you.
Help me see the beauty in my struggles because at this point all I constantly see is hurt and pain and I know, I know there is more. Set me upon the path that you've deem right and worthy. Set me upon the path to Jannah.
Monday, May 4, 2015
via Instagram http://ift.tt/1EKM4ht I've always been the kid who loses her way but thank Allah for giving me parents who've let me lead my own path. My stumbles and falls, my mistakes but most importantly, my decisions. It can't be easy to watch your kid make dumb, painful mistakes but thank you for allowing me that. Today was for you guys. The pride I feel in achieving this diploma compares nothing in the pride I feel to have done this for you. You my ride-or-die's 🎇🎎🎇
Saturday, May 2, 2015
You know when you can't connect with a person as well as you used to and then there's just this big, scary hole where this something used to be?
It's 4 am and I'm wondering why.
I mean I know why, but why why.
What's your bottom line?
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Monday, April 13, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
I never thought I'd be this - I never thought I'd be a coward, so scared of what awaits that I rather just stay in this undefined limbo of time, stuck between being a student and an adult.I can't get the rational words onto this page. Everything's mashed up in here - like when I was a kid, I would make bath time pizza dough; which really was just talcum powder and whatever liquids I had on hand. It was a mess. Just like this crossroad is. Welcome to the crossroad of hell.
Welcome to the crossroads of transition. Where everything is brand-spanking-new and everything changes or resets upon itself. Friendships go astray, questions answered become void and invalid and most importantly, life progresses.
I've always believed that hindsight is amazaballs- so this will be me, waiting and watching to see what astounding conclusions await me.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Friday, March 20, 2015
Friday, March 13, 2015
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Monday, March 9, 2015
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Monday, March 2, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
via Instagram http://ift.tt/1BaVIcM HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVEEEE! @nurulhudahalil May your twenty fourth year be filled with blessings of good heath, happiness and inner peace. May you always find the strenght to be stronger than you were yesterday and the courage to be exactly who you are. You cant pick family, but I'm glad I have you! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ (24 hearts for 24 years!)
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Do you know that I've taken every small moment with you and stored them in a locked chest hidden down the dark alleys of my veins and soul?
Do you know that I treasure them so?
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Monday, February 16, 2015
You will get tired of not being enough.
But here's the thing, you are enough.
Every bit of you has been fashioned and moulded into a form so specifically perfect for who you are and the growing bundle of potential that reside underneath your skin.
And in this vast, vast world, do you really think that you're not enough for all the things your body aches for you to discover?
You were made to be exactly who you are.
I want to know exactly who I am and what I'm about and moulding myself in someone else's shadow won't help me do so.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Some days are filled with people and other days are filled with thoughts. The best kinds are days that are filled with people and kind thoughts.
There should be fireworks.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
▫All things come in good time.
▫When it's meant for you, it'll be great.
▫It'll be amazing and magical and hit so close to home that you'll feel like every single step in your life was in preparation for this moment.
▫The small loves of you life will be nothing compared to the ones destined for you.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
I wonder if anyone else feels as much as of a fraud as I feel? Like when we walk around with our heads held high, paying our bills and doing all the adult shit we do, does anyone else feel like screaming "I'm a goddamn fraud you guys!!!!! Im just pretending to be an adult!!!!"
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Friday, January 30, 2015
Friday, January 23, 2015
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Friday, January 16, 2015
via Instagram http://ift.tt/1uaXWrx It's not what you say that matters, it's what you do. Countless times, this has been proven true. Also, best way to (really) end the week! #justlikekl #doyouhavethatmilkything
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Friday, January 9, 2015
via Instagram http://ift.tt/1yNFR3S Start from the bottom now the whole gang here. // POP LOHH. May you always find your strenghts and silver linings wherever you end up. #zaididahpop #zaidipopcherry #zaidi4thcoy ((Tap to find Zaidi))
Sunday, January 4, 2015
We all have secret fears. They may be irrational, they may be petty or they may be very, very real. There are the fears that I won't even voice to my closest friends because if I do that, doesn't that tempt fate? What if it comes true if I put a voice to it? It's like signing my own death warrant.
But these couple months have taught me way more about how I should live life than I ever thought it would. I hated the first half of my internship. It was like every bad dream come to life. It wasn't so much as what I did that made me hate it, it was how it made me feel. I think that's the part that most people didn't get when I moaned about my internship.
It wasn't the cleaning, the wiping or the general mundaneness of it all. It was feeling underutilized. I knew that I could do so much better - to be put to work into tasks where I could use what I learnt in school, to be challenged and questioned and just to let my brain juices flow. I think it brought back every single childhood memory of being under appreciated, of being underestimated, of being just not enough. Not good enough to given tasks that mean something. I was a child with issues.
I think weirdly, that's my worst fear, of having no one believe that I could be capable of more. So when all I did was clean, it brought my worst fears to life. And you what? I faced it.
The worst thing happened and I faced it. I didn't like it but I faced it.
There's something liberating about having your worst fears stare you in the eye and confront you.
& you may take a pummel and you may fall but at the end of the day, you're still getting by.
You're still moving past.
My worst fears may not be over, they may all be realized soon enough, but I will get through this.
Trust in the journey that He has planned for you.
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Friday, December 19, 2014
And I think of you and miss you the most during the moments I know you're supposed to be here. I miss you so much Nicks.
But I can only imagine how your family is coping. You were so you, so Nicky 🐎, so calm and accepting and so collected and so Nicky -ish...I cant even describe it. We were blessed with 33 years of you. Sometimes it's like a dream that you're no longer here with us. I wished I had said a proper goodbye. But I don't think that matters now. Im sure you know how loved you are.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
via Instagram http://ift.tt/16lwQD2 Congratulations @effagates!! Im so happy I was able to witness this new milestone in your life! Insha Allah, we'll witness more milestones together! I love and miss you girlss 😘😘😘😘 👩👧👩👧